Cold Vegetables
by LaurelAnichka
Summary: Estel and Elrond have a disagreement about what constitutes "nutritious", and what constitutes "tyrannical". Who do you think wins?


"Estel?"

"Yes, Ada?"

"What exactly do you think you are doing?"

"Whatever do you mean, Ada?"

"You know precisely what I mean, Estel."

"Truly, Ada, I do not. Pray tell me what you are referring to."

"'To what you are referring', Estel, not 'what you are referring to'. Do not end your sentences with prepositions."

"That is irrelevant, Ada."

"It is not irrelevant. It is grammar. Grammar can be life or death, you know. A misplaced comma can change the meaning of an entire sentence."

"I'm sure it can, Ada. However, we seem to have strayed from the topic at hand."

"What topic might that be?"

"The topic of what exactly I think I am doing, Ada. I will tell you: I am serving myself dessert."

"Ah, yes. The fact is, you may not have dessert."

"Why not?"

"Because you did not finish your vegetables."

"I do not like vegetables, Ada. You know that."

"I do know that. However, you must eat them anyway."

"But I do not like them."

"I do not see why that is my problem, Estel."

"Ada, you are mean! You are a mean, grouchy, stuffy, vegetable-eating, ancient elf-lord!"

"Mean, grouchy, and stuffy are all adjectives I resent. However, I do not see why vegetable-eating is an insult. Besides, whether I am mean or not, you still may not have your dessert unless you have eaten your vegetables."

"Why not? That is a stupid rule."

"Nevertheless, that is what the rule is. So I'll be taking _that_."

"Ada, that is my plate!"

"I realize that. You may have it back when you have finished what is on your _other _plate."

"But what is on my other plate is vegetables!"

"_Are _vegetables, Estel. The word 'vegetables' is plural."

"That is irrelevant, Ada. This is very odd, actually."

"What is odd?"

"Usually I am the one who brings irrelevant topics into the conversation, so as to avoid the topic at hand. This is the second time in this conversation that _you_ have done so."

"I am trying to distract you from the fact that you do not like vegetables in the hopes that your love of food in general will win out and you will eat them without noticing what they are."

"That is not likely, Ada… You are not as all-powerful as you would like people to think, are you?"

"I am not all-powerful at all, Estel. You know that. Only Eru is all-powerful. I am just… _extremely_ powerful."

"All right, Ada. …I bet you cannot make me want to eat my vegetables."

"Why do I care if you want to eat your vegetables, so long as you eat them?"

"But I will not eat them unless I want to eat them. Therefore, you must make me want to eat them if you want me to eat them."

"How is this: If you do not eat them, you will have double your lessons and no time for play for the next week."

"That does not make me want to eat them, Ada. That just makes me annoyed that you would do that to me."

"I do not want to do it. I just want you to eat your vegetables. If you ate your vegetables, I would not have to do it."

"That is true… That does not change the fact that you would do it."

"No, it does not. But sometimes we have to do things we do not want to do – like you and eating your vegetables, or me and taking away your time for play."

"…Is that supposed to teach me something?"

"Yes, Estel, it is."

"So me not eating my vegetables is to be equated with you attempting to force me to eat my vegetables. Isn't that like equating an act of civil disobedience with an act of tyranny?"

"Refusing to eat your vegetables is not civil disobedience; it is simply childish refusal to acquiesce to something that is for your own good. Punishing you for not eating your vegetables is not tyranny, it is parenting."

"Refusal to acquiesce is the same as disobedience, Ada. Also, I see no difference between parenting and tyranny."

"How are you defining tyranny, then, Estel?"

"Oppressive power exerted by a single leader on a populace. That is Erestor's definition. You are a single leader, I am a populace, and you forcing me to eat my vegetables is the exertion of oppressive power."

"I am an elf-lord, not a single leader. You are my son, not a populace."

"Ah, but you do not argue that you forcing me to eat my vegetables is not the exertion of oppressive power!"

"…I really must tell Erestor to stop teaching you those debate tactics. It is getting to the point where you do not need the practice."

"All right, Ada. As I already know them, it would not make a difference."

"Unfortunately, you're right. …Eat your vegetables, Estel."

"They are cold now."

"I do not care. Eat them."

"You should not force your favorite son to eat cold vegetables, Ada! It is not nice!"

"I believe we have discussed before that I am not nice. I am a good father and a good elf-lord, but I am not nice. Eat your cold vegetables."

"…Oh, dear, I see it is time for my lessons. I don't have time to eat my vegetables now. I will see you at supper, Ada. Oh, and I'll be taking… _that_!"

"Estel! Estel, come back here with that dessert plate! _Estel!_ …Oh, well, it is too late now. He has already gotten away. Pity to let those perfectly good vegetables go to waste, though. I may as well eat them. …Sweet Manwë, that is disgusting! Why didn't he tell me – Oh."

_fin_


End file.
